Coloring and Meditation

Have I ever told you that I get bored quickly! You see, I’m one of those who would try anything to keep their mind busy and ignore nuisance that life brings from time to time. I have mild anxiety level that can jump to 200% in a matter of seconds, and yup, after all these years of fighting this along with depression, stress and coping with what lives brings to our doors each day, I have developed pyrosis (I’m mentioning this now as I’m literally in constant pain and coughing episodes that nothing so far is making it getting better).

However, on a positive note, if you can see one actually, humor and indifference helped me cope with many of these things, specially depression. So what does this have to do with coloring! ok, bare with me for a moment. You see, I finally received Alllie Brosh’s book “Hyperbole and a half” and if you have read this book before, she is actually speaking your mind! The way she articulates depression is so impressive! I gotta say, I might not have the same experiences as she has but the same struggle everyday or as Emil Cioran puts it “The pessimist has to invent new reasons to exist every day: he is a victim of the “meaning” of life“! and that sums up everything!

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Talking about meaning of life, I guess this question keeps popping up in my head every couple of years! You see, again, I get bored quickly, loose meaning in life, why to keep going, what makes you happy, I don’t feel happy easily, sometimes I just can’t be happy or be positive or hopeful all the time! The only thing that keeps me going everyday is my faith and that’s only. I only have faith in God and not in humans and sense I can’t relate much to them or feel happy with them I use humor as a way to create joy and jokes to laugh about! now you are understanding me (only exceptions are those that I do really love and care about that makes me really deep down happy).

Back to depression, reading this book made me seriously depressed or at least reminded me with my miserable inner world. When I first started studying psychology, the only school of thinking that resonates the most with me was the Existential school of therapy, specifically it started with Viktor Frankl and the meaning of life school of thinking. I read Freud, Adler and Frankl was the only one to have a place in my heart to relate to and for a long time. I learned and practiced Gestalt and also have been on the pursuit of meaning in everything I experience and would create my own meanings if I failed to realize it in these things. However, I get bored quickly, I would become more detached than before and will have my dark moments of extreme depression, anxiety and insomnia. (You can learn more if you explored the topics in this link).

But life is never expected or is not always predictable (if you are used to mind-reading or over-analyzing or always_expect_the_worse_never_be_happy_when_good_things_happen)! I buy lots of books from Bookdepository and I always see coloring books as the latest trends for adults, however, never felt so intrigued to actually buy one until I received a number of coloring bookmarks and it just hit me! I grabbed coloring pencils and kept coloring all night long, even at work! the feeling of accomplishment and the need to focus, think creatively to mix colors together and actually utilize your whole brain cells in one task made me feel like euphoria! my hands hurt after all but the next step was to order this coloring book 🙂

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and coloring is used as a form of therapy as they mention in the following video o_O

Back to anxiety, so Rollo May, an existential therapist argues in his book “The Meaning of Anxiety” that “Meeting with anxiety can free us from boredom and sharpen our perception, if there is anxiety, there is life”! Well this is a very big argument to make specially to those who suffers from anxiety. I mean, yes, you might be experimenting like what I just did with coloring, you might be freed from boredom sometimes as you are constantly occupied with something, however, it is definitely not something I do agree with 100%, 99% maybe o_O

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سلك السماعة – مصطفى ابراهيم

الكثيرون لا يلقون للشعر العامي أو الغير موزون أي قيمة بحجة البلاغة الأدبية وغيرها من الحجج التي تساق كل مرة في وجه أي بوادر كانت صغيرة أو كبيرة للتغير. لكن عموماً، بما أن الجميع أتفقوا على أن يختلفوا، مقطع قصيدة سلك السماعة من أجمل الأشعار العامية بلاغة برأيي وأعترف أيضاً أنني من المتهمين بالتأثر بالثورة المصرية بغض الطرف عما ألت اليه الأحداث اليوم!

 

الدنيا اساساً م الاول ..
شيء يشبه سلك السماعة ..
يتلعبك منك ف ثواني ..
و عشان يرجع مفرود تاني ..
لازم تتعذب و تعاني ..
و تفكه ف أكتر من ساعة ..

Medianeras: one more time!

Turn the English subtitle on the video to understand the thing!

When I first watched this movie (philosophical view of life) years ago, I was stunned! for a developer whose life is shaped and guided by the online world, it was an irony that some Argentinian director sat one day and thought of all of this!

From the great intro above to the last scene in the movie, I was glued! how often you can find your life depicted on the screen (well, without the love story part!) and how often a screenwriter can relate to you on the creation level!

Every time I watch this movie (watched countless times already) I found myself drowning in my loneliness and despair thinking, how this wired interconnected world is the only thing that ever got me! I lay down staring at the ceiling thinking am I an arrogant person who can’t communicate with others or I’m just a developer who finds it a little bit difficult to relate to others on the real side and hence lack the sense of connection and belonging!

When Brene Brown told us that vulnerability is the source of all the courage in the world, she was totally right! she nailed the thing down, however, what she didn’t realize is that people do not want to connect or relate to the true you or the real you! they want to relate to the nice enhanced version of you that doesn’t feel desperate or depressed! that doesn’t know how to laugh except with those they truly care for and that sometimes they may fail to connect but they desperately wish to communicate and connect!

Synopsis from the film

Martin is a phobic in recovery process. Little by little he manages to step out of theisolation of his one-room apartment and his virtual reality. He is a web designer.

Mariana just broke up after a long relationship. Her head is a mess, just like the apartment where she takes refuge. Martin and Mariana live in the same street, in opposite buildings, but they never met.

They walk through the same places, but they do not notice each other.

How can they meet in a city of three million people?

Urban loneliness.

Buenos Aires.
Medianeras.

What separates them is what brings them together.

2016 Movies List

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As my movies list has increased over the years, this is a pathetic attempt to track what I have watched starting this year and hopefully one day I can trace back all the movies over the year to monitor how my taste has changed over time!

Watched movies during 2016:

  1. The Nightmare: (2015), Documentary, Horror about “A look at a frightening condition that plagues thousands; sleep paralysis”.
  2. Whiplash: (2014), Drama, Music about “A promising young drummer enrolls at a cut-throat music conservatory where his dreams of greatness are mentored by an instructor who will stop at nothing to realize a student’s potential”.
  3. The Revenant: (2015), Adventure, Thriller about “A frontiersman on a fur trading expedition in the 1820s fights for survival after being mauled by a bear and left for dead by members of his own hunting team”. (highly recommended).
  4. Spotlight: (2015), Biography, Investigative Journalism about “The true story of how the Boston Globe uncovered the massive scandal of child molestation and cover-up within the local Catholic Archdiocese, shaking the entire Catholic Church to its core”. (highly recommended).
  5. The Gallows: (2015), Horror about “20 years after a horrific accident during a small town school play, students at the school resurrect the failed show in a misguided attempt to honor the anniversary of the tragedy – but soon discover that some things are better left alone”.
  6. Creed: (2015), Drama, Sport about “The former World Heavyweight Champion Rocky Balboa serves as a trainer and mentor to Adonis Johnson, the son of his late friend and former rival Apollo Creed”.
  7. The Intern: (2015), Comedy about “70-year-old widower Ben Whittaker has discovered that retirement isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Seizing an opportunity to get back in the game, he becomes a senior intern at an online fashion site, founded and run by Jules Ostin”.
  8. Concussion: (2015), Biography, Drama, In Pittsburgh, accomplished pathologist Dr. Bennet Omalu uncovers the truth about brain damage in football players who suffer repeated concussions in the course of normal play.
  9. Deadpool: (2016), Comedy, Action about “A former Special Forces operative turned mercenary is subjected to a rogue experiment that leaves him with accelerated healing powers, adopting the alter ego Deadpool”.
  10. London has Fallen: (2016), Thriller, Crime about “In London for the Prime Minister’s funeral, Mike Banning discovers a plot to assassinate all the attending world leaders”.
  11. Fathers and Daughters: (2015), Drama about “A Pulitzer-winning writer grapples with being a widower and father after a mental breakdown, while, 27 years later, his grown daughter struggles to forge connections of her own”. (highly recommended).
  12. Room: (2015), Drama about A kidnapped mother and son escape from a room in which they have endured imprisonment for the entirety of her son’s life. Upon breaking free from its confines, they experience a dramatic homecoming; provoking insight into the depths of imagination and the extent of a mother’s love. (highly recommended).
  13. The Forest: (2016), Horror, A woman goes into Japan’s Suicide Forest to find her twin sister, and confronts supernatural terror.
  14. Backtrack: (2015), Drama, Mystery and Thriller about Psychologist Peter Bower’s life is thrown into turmoil when he discovers a strange secret about his patients. Risking his own sanity, Peter delves into his past to uncover a terrifying secret which only he can put right. Backtrack is a spine-chilling story from the acclaimed writer-director, Michael Petroni.
  15. Short Term 12: (2013), Drama about a 20-something supervising staff member of a residential treatment facility navigates the troubled waters of that world alongside her co-worker and longtime boyfriend. (highly recommended).
  16. Liberal Art: (2012), Comedy and Drama about 30-something Jesse returns to his alma mater for a professor’s retirement party, he falls for Zibby, a college student, and is faced with a powerful attraction that springs up between them.
  17. Zootpoia: (2016), Animation and action about a city of anthropomorphic animals, a rookie bunny cop and a cynical con artist fox must work together to uncover a conspiracy.
  18. Escaflowne The Movie: (2000), Animation about A grim retelling of the television series “The Vision of Escaflowne”.
  19. End of Watch: (2012), Crime, Drama and Thriller shot documentary-style, this film follows the daily grind of two young police officers in LA who are partners and friends, and what happens when they meet criminal forces greater than themselves. . (highly recommended).
  20. Locke: (2013), Drama, Ivan Locke, a dedicated family man and successful construction manager, receives a phone call on the eve of the biggest challenge of his career that sets in motion a series of events that threaten his carefully cultivated existence.
  21. The Huntsman: Winter’s War: (2016), Action, Adventure and Drama about As a war between rival queen sisters Ravenna and Freya escalates, Eric and fellow warrior Sara, members of the Huntsmen army raised to protect Freya, try to conceal their forbidden love as they combat Ravenna’s wicked intentions.
  22. Momento: (2000), Mystery and Thriller about A man creates a strange system to help him remember things; so he can hunt for the murderer of his wife without his short-term memory loss being an obstacle.
  23. The Thing: (2011), Horror, Mystery and Sci-Fi about At an Antarctica research site, the discovery of an alien craft leads to a confrontation between graduate student Kate Lloyd and scientist Dr. Sander Halvorson.
  24. The Departed: (2006), Crime, Drama and Thriller about An undercover cop and a mole in the police attempt to identify each other while infiltrating an Irish gang in South Boston.
  25. Good Will Hunting: (1997), Drama about Will Hunting, a janitor at M.I.T., has a gift for mathematics, but needs help from a psychologist to find direction in his life.
  26. The Boy: (2016), Horror, Thriller and Mystery about An American nanny is shocked that her new English family’s boy is actually a life-sized doll. After she violates a list of strict rules, disturbing events make her believe that the doll is really alive.
  27. Emilie: (2015), Horror and Thriller about A couple’s replacement babysitter turns out to be more than they bargined for when she subjects their kids to a series of twisted activities.
  28. Blue Jasmine: (2013), Drama about A New York socialite, deeply troubled and in denial, arrives in San Francisco to impose upon her sister. She looks a million, but isn’t bringing money, peace, or love.

My Sketches

يا قدس يا أملاً يغفو على حافة ريشتي

jerausalem-painting

في القدس أبنيةٌ حجارتُها اقتباساتٌ من الإنجيلِ والقرآنْ
في القدس تعريفُ الجمالِ مُثَمَّنُ الأضلاعِ أزرقُ،
فَوْقَهُ، يا دامَ عِزُّكَ، قُبَّةٌ ذَهَبِيَّةٌ،
تبدو برأيي، مثل مرآة محدبة ترى وجه السماء مُلَخَّصَاً فيها
تُدَلِّلُها وَتُدْنِيها
تُوَزِّعُها كَأَكْياسِ المعُونَةِ في الحِصَارِ لمستَحِقِّيها
إذا ما أُمَّةٌ من بعدِ خُطْبَةِ جُمْعَةٍ مَدَّتْ بِأَيْدِيها
وفي القدس السماءُ تَفَرَّقَتْ في الناسِ تحمينا ونحميها
ونحملُها على أكتافِنا حَمْلاً
إذا جَارَت على أقمارِها الأزمانْ

أفلام قصيرة مميزة

كما تستطيع الكلمة المقروءة أن توصل فكرة لملايين البشر فان الحكاية المرئية أيضاً لا تقل أهمية في ايصال هذه الأفكار ليس لملايين البشر فحسب بل تترك أثراً مرئياً بالذاكرة يحفز ملكة الابداع والخيال لدى المتلقي. تعثرت عبر السنوات بعدد من الافلام القصيرة التي تحمل في طياتها فكرة ابداعية تستحق المشاهدة والتقدير خصوصاً تلك التي ترتبط بمواضيع تثير اهتمامنا أو المصممة بطريقة قادرة على جذب الانتباه بأبسط الطرق وأقلها تعقيداً.

أترككم مع بعضها:

Lightheaded

light-headed

The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr Morris Lessmore

The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr Morris Lessmore

http://vimeo.com/59310741

Paperman

paperman

Monsterbox

monsterbox

http://www.filmskillet.com/films/828-monsterbox

La Maison en Petits Cubes

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